Hi - I'm new here
I'm an adult child of two alcoholics...and lo and behold, I married a "binge drinker." That's what my former therapist labeled him as, anyway. That actually caught me off guard, I thought I was smart enough to know what to look out for, lol. Silly me. I also turned a blind eye to his drinking. I knew from the beginning there was "probably" an issue, but chose not to see it. In the post that described the typical ways we contribute to a problem really opened my eyes. I tend to be either the martyr or the...oh, what was the word ? Anyway, I tend to try get him to stop drinking by talking with him, threatening to leave, or giving him the silent treatment. I try to rationalize with him...remind him that we have a 19 month old son who needs him, that if he gets arrested for DUI while driving home from the bar he'd lose his job, etc., etc. I'm kind of at a loss where to go from here. Part of the problem is I keep doubting how much a problem this really is. Seems a little silly, I know. But he's just so different than what I'm used to dealing with. He goes out once a week after lodge (he's a freemason), and stays at the bar until 1 or 2 in the morning. We've argued several times over that, I've asked him to cut back..etc. We have slightly opposite work schedules, I work Mon - Fri, and he works Sun - Thur. Thursday nights are lodge nights. When I accepted my new schedule, it was with the understanding our son would be spending LESS time in daycare (in other words, Fridays he'd spend with my husband). As we speak, our son is in daycare while my husband catches up on his sleep after getting home at 1:15. Masonry and his drinking seems to be a constant sore spot - and I'm left feeling very angry and sad. My husband is otherwise very good to me and I love him dearly - he's a wonderful father too. There are other issues going on at the moment as well - everything has me feeling so overwhelmed. I guess what I'm asking for is a little support, and a point in the right direction on where to go from here. Sorry this is so long, I guess I just needed to get all this off my chest.