I think your emotions are telling you that perhaps you are not ready, maybe you should listen to your gut.
I was told that your gut feelings on many things is God speaking to us and all we have to do is listen. If you are having doubts and fears, that has to tell you something especially if those feelings are causing you cravings to drink.
It seems you want to escape from them instead of facing them which may mean you are not ready for a relationship. Only you can decide but listen to your gut, talk it out with a trusted friend and pray about it.