Dealing with family can be very rough. It takes me a lot of energy and time to move closer and closer to being in a space where I am completely solid with "you don't owe anyone anything". I'm not required to play-along and pretend the abuse never happened. They are not required to acknowledge the abuse either. So, I try to figure out what's best for me. I need to remind myself that I am worthy of proper treatment and not even supposed "family" gets a free pass. There's another person in the room that matters too -- and that's me. They're not the only one whose feelings matter. It's especially hard for me to just let family experience the consequences of their behavior. How many people in their life would tolerate the kinds of things they said to me, and come try to work-it-out. Very few I bet. Most people walk away without a second thought. And there I go, walking into the flame again. Maybe they'll be nice this time.
They are not the only people that need love, kindness, and respect. I need it too.
It is ABSOLUTELY ok to take care of myself. Reminder, reminder, reminder. I'm not a bad person when I walk away from abuse. Not at all. I deserve to be treated with respect. period. No excuses, no "i'll let that slide". Respect.
That's for me.
For you, I would suggest to think about who you are - what you like, what you don't. Try to be the authentic person you are. You don't need anyone's permission on decisions that you make. Just you. What works for you.