Just want to say that I can relate to the terrible feelings that come up when I make a mistake. So terrible. I'm a relentless overachiever, so even tiny mistakes are the worst. But I'm learning.
I grew up hearing "you're so defensive" because I'm at heart a sensitive soul. And my instant reaction to someone being upset or mad or anything bad is to try and fix, fix, fix. I've been learning to work on that, especially because my lovely wife brings me back to reality sometimes and says, "You don't have to fix anything. I can be upset." What a revelation.
I realized that I've been the mediator of sorts in my family. Mom and sis used to have terrible fights, and I'd have to scream at them to stop. Awful. I am OK with confrontation, as long as I can reason out the exact and perfect solution to the problem beforehand. Ha.