Welcome bc - you found a wonderful place to connect with others who understand.
When I was 35 I'd been dependent on alcohol for a long time. I wish I'd reached out for some help at that point. My life would have taken such a different turn. I struggled for many years to control my drinking, never realizing that stopping all together was what I had to do. I'm glad you know what needs to be done. You are saving yourself so much grief and misery down the line.