Scared, But Hopeful

Old 04-02-2015, 03:41 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 1
Scared, But Hopeful

Hi everyone-

A friend of mine randomly found this forum when I was complaining that a Google search rarely seemed to yield real stories... only ads for treatment centers and WebMD articles. I'm thankful she found this.

I'm 35, and I've been drinking way too heavily since college. It doesn't make that much difference at all, but I'm strictly a beer drinker. I can put down way too many Miller Lites in a day for my own good. Until recently, I've been able to manage my alcoholism relatively well. However, in the past month or so, my ability to manager has lessened. When not drinking, I'm fidgety, have anxiety attacks and am much less able to focus. While I've been doing damage to my health for many years, it finally put me over the edge when I realized that it was impacting my work performance.

I hit the wall on Monday. I came home, wrote down my thoughts and then called my folks and sister to admit my problem. I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure it is rooted in depression. I live alone, I'm overweight, I don't eat right, I'm not in a relationship, work isn't that great and a host of other things.

Tomorrow morning, I have an appointment for an initial assessment at a substance abuse center at one of our local hospitals. I'm pretty sure from some research (and my sister, an RN, agrees) that I'll have to undergo some sort of inpatient detox given the amount I drink. I also am afraid I have other health problems that may complicate things (as I mentioned, I'm overweight and don't eat right, but I've also had a high blood pressure issue I haven't addressed for a few years because I was afraid I'd have to stop drinking).

So, I'm a scared about the process to come... not only because I'm changing a lifestyle I've become used to over the past decade or so, but also because I'm hoping my body can take it. However, the alternative is certain. I have been and would continue to be doing damage to myself.

That said, I'm also hopeful about making a change and about the person I can become.

Very glad I found this community to share with.

My best to all of you,
bc79 is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to bc79 For This Useful Post:
Cleomie (04-02-2015), Hevyn (04-02-2015), marcusflowers (04-02-2015), SDH73 (04-03-2015), silentrun (04-02-2015), sun78 (04-02-2015)
Old 04-02-2015, 03:49 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Anna's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 53,954
Welcome, and I'm so glad you found us.

We do understand how scary this is.

It's good you're aware that you will have to change your lifestyle. Of course, stopping drinking is the first step, but we usually need to deal with underlying issues as you mentioned. You may need to change activities and friends, but know for sure that you will be able to do this.
Anna is online now  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Anna For This Useful Post:
Hevyn (04-02-2015)
Old 04-02-2015, 03:57 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Learning to live again
Hevyn's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 41,442
Welcome bc - you found a wonderful place to connect with others who understand.

When I was 35 I'd been dependent on alcohol for a long time. I wish I'd reached out for some help at that point. My life would have taken such a different turn. I struggled for many years to control my drinking, never realizing that stopping all together was what I had to do. I'm glad you know what needs to be done. You are saving yourself so much grief and misery down the line.
Hevyn is online now  
Old 04-02-2015, 03:59 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
voices ca**y
silentrun's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 3,634
Blog Entries: 1
welcome bc79.
silentrun is offline  
Old 04-02-2015, 04:11 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 10
I hope that, years from now, you will remeber this day as the starting point of a new, sober, more positive path of your life.
sun78 is offline  
Old 04-02-2015, 04:16 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Court jester
Bmac's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: South Florida
Posts: 508
Welcome! Keep us posted on how things go at the doctors. I too was worried sick, but found that my fears were far worse than reality.
Bmac is offline  
Old 04-02-2015, 04:21 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Almost 700 years sober
Soberwolf's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 66,890
Blog Entries: 4
Welcome BC its nice to meet you this place is wonderful for recovery & support
Soberwolf is offline  
Old 04-02-2015, 04:24 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
NoGoingBack's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Off the beaten track, UK
Posts: 676
Welcome and well done at making the decision to find some help!

It does seem scary at first but I found the worst part was finding the help in the first place. I was fortunate to finally find a great counsellor who helped me through the first steps, and he was invaluable when I began my journey to recovery.

You'll find lots of support here at SR, don't be afraid to join in, I think it's fair to say we're a friendly bunch!

Best wishes
NoGoingBack is offline  
Old 04-02-2015, 04:49 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Dee74's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 188,590
Blog Entries: 1
Welcome aboard bc - you'll find a ton of support here

Dee74 is offline  
Old 04-03-2015, 10:27 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
PurpleKnight's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,855
Welcome to the Forum bc79!!
PurpleKnight is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:22 PM.