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Scared, But Hopeful

Old 04-02-2015, 03:41 PM
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Scared, But Hopeful

Hi everyone-

A friend of mine randomly found this forum when I was complaining that a Google search rarely seemed to yield real stories... only ads for treatment centers and WebMD articles. I'm thankful she found this.

I'm 35, and I've been drinking way too heavily since college. It doesn't make that much difference at all, but I'm strictly a beer drinker. I can put down way too many Miller Lites in a day for my own good. Until recently, I've been able to manage my alcoholism relatively well. However, in the past month or so, my ability to manager has lessened. When not drinking, I'm fidgety, have anxiety attacks and am much less able to focus. While I've been doing damage to my health for many years, it finally put me over the edge when I realized that it was impacting my work performance.

I hit the wall on Monday. I came home, wrote down my thoughts and then called my folks and sister to admit my problem. I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure it is rooted in depression. I live alone, I'm overweight, I don't eat right, I'm not in a relationship, work isn't that great and a host of other things.

Tomorrow morning, I have an appointment for an initial assessment at a substance abuse center at one of our local hospitals. I'm pretty sure from some research (and my sister, an RN, agrees) that I'll have to undergo some sort of inpatient detox given the amount I drink. I also am afraid I have other health problems that may complicate things (as I mentioned, I'm overweight and don't eat right, but I've also had a high blood pressure issue I haven't addressed for a few years because I was afraid I'd have to stop drinking).

So, I'm a scared about the process to come... not only because I'm changing a lifestyle I've become used to over the past decade or so, but also because I'm hoping my body can take it. However, the alternative is certain. I have been and would continue to be doing damage to myself.

That said, I'm also hopeful about making a change and about the person I can become.

Very glad I found this community to share with.

My best to all of you,
bc
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Old 04-02-2015, 03:49 PM
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Welcome, and I'm so glad you found us.

We do understand how scary this is.

It's good you're aware that you will have to change your lifestyle. Of course, stopping drinking is the first step, but we usually need to deal with underlying issues as you mentioned. You may need to change activities and friends, but know for sure that you will be able to do this.
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Old 04-02-2015, 03:57 PM
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Welcome bc - you found a wonderful place to connect with others who understand.

When I was 35 I'd been dependent on alcohol for a long time. I wish I'd reached out for some help at that point. My life would have taken such a different turn. I struggled for many years to control my drinking, never realizing that stopping all together was what I had to do. I'm glad you know what needs to be done. You are saving yourself so much grief and misery down the line.
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Old 04-02-2015, 03:59 PM
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welcome bc79.
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Old 04-02-2015, 04:11 PM
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I hope that, years from now, you will remeber this day as the starting point of a new, sober, more positive path of your life.
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Old 04-02-2015, 04:16 PM
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Welcome! Keep us posted on how things go at the doctors. I too was worried sick, but found that my fears were far worse than reality.
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Old 04-02-2015, 04:21 PM
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Welcome BC its nice to meet you this place is wonderful for recovery & support
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Old 04-02-2015, 04:24 PM
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Welcome and well done at making the decision to find some help!

It does seem scary at first but I found the worst part was finding the help in the first place. I was fortunate to finally find a great counsellor who helped me through the first steps, and he was invaluable when I began my journey to recovery.

You'll find lots of support here at SR, don't be afraid to join in, I think it's fair to say we're a friendly bunch!

Best wishes
NGB
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Old 04-02-2015, 04:49 PM
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Welcome aboard bc - you'll find a ton of support here

D
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Old 04-03-2015, 10:27 AM
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Welcome to the Forum bc79!!
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