I do things that addicts do
Sneak drinks when others aren't looking.
Drink before drinking events.
Drink before non-drinking events.
Try to get others to drink as much as I am.
Underplay how much I drank.
Stay sick in bed for a day, wishing I had two days to recover.
Ignore my phone for days after drinking, afraid to see what's on there.
Avoid people I may have been drunk around for days, weeks, months because I'm so ashamed that I don't remember what I said or did with them.
Tell myself I'll never do it again... and then do it again.
Try to tell myself I don't have a problem...
Hate myself.
I have a problem. No matter what I tell myself, no matter what my friends or family would tell me, I do. That's why I'm here today. Day 16.