I do things that addicts do
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 132
I do things that addicts do
Sneak drinks when others aren't looking.
Drink before drinking events.
Drink before non-drinking events.
Try to get others to drink as much as I am.
Underplay how much I drank.
Stay sick in bed for a day, wishing I had two days to recover.
Ignore my phone for days after drinking, afraid to see what's on there.
Avoid people I may have been drunk around for days, weeks, months because I'm so ashamed that I don't remember what I said or did with them.
Tell myself I'll never do it again... and then do it again.
Try to tell myself I don't have a problem...
Hate myself.
I have a problem. No matter what I tell myself, no matter what my friends or family would tell me, I do. That's why I'm here today. Day 16.
Drink before drinking events.
Drink before non-drinking events.
Try to get others to drink as much as I am.
Underplay how much I drank.
Stay sick in bed for a day, wishing I had two days to recover.
Ignore my phone for days after drinking, afraid to see what's on there.
Avoid people I may have been drunk around for days, weeks, months because I'm so ashamed that I don't remember what I said or did with them.
Tell myself I'll never do it again... and then do it again.
Try to tell myself I don't have a problem...
Hate myself.
I have a problem. No matter what I tell myself, no matter what my friends or family would tell me, I do. That's why I'm here today. Day 16.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 132
Ugh, the worst part is that the list goes on and on...
Funny how long it's taken me to see it? Someone actually commented on something I said on a different thread recently about the cell phone thing, and how that's something that addicts do. That really hit a nerve. Like, REALLY shook me up. I've known I have problems drinking for a while, but an addict? Me?
It's kind of hard, reconciling the idea of addiction when I wasn't an every day drinker. Not even an every week drinker! But I AM an addict, as soon as it hits my lips, I can't stop. And if I do stop, I'm not happy about it. So I need to not start. It has so far proven to be the ONLY way to control my addiction.
Whoever said the thing that helped me look at my problem in a different light, thank you. It hurt to hear, it hurt to think, but it is a good kind of hurt. A truthful kind.
Funny how long it's taken me to see it? Someone actually commented on something I said on a different thread recently about the cell phone thing, and how that's something that addicts do. That really hit a nerve. Like, REALLY shook me up. I've known I have problems drinking for a while, but an addict? Me?
It's kind of hard, reconciling the idea of addiction when I wasn't an every day drinker. Not even an every week drinker! But I AM an addict, as soon as it hits my lips, I can't stop. And if I do stop, I'm not happy about it. So I need to not start. It has so far proven to be the ONLY way to control my addiction.
Whoever said the thing that helped me look at my problem in a different light, thank you. It hurt to hear, it hurt to think, but it is a good kind of hurt. A truthful kind.
I relate to everything you listed. I dread looking at my phone after a night of drinking. I become a total a-hole when I drink and tend to send out texts and make calls that I regret the next day. when soBer, I hardly bother at all with my phone/social media
A good post! Yip, I recognise all of it (maybe except the phone thing). Amazing, that we all tried to hide these 'traits' - through i guess shame or embarrassment? ...and here we all are - together 'out in the open' agreeing we see ourselves in the list...
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