Originally Posted by
MarathonMan 
Endgame - some of what you say is kind of what my brain is saying....if its gonna happen let it and then at least its kinda on my terms....not what I want but the **** my brain is whispering at me. Also if im always gonna be a mess maybe the greatest kindness is to let the get away. Like the only good deed ive got left. Like I said not what I want but just dont feel this addiction is escapable. Ive thought I wax really ready in the past and really wanted it and still fell flat on my face.....to think I had over 2 years once. What I did then just doesnt work now.
There's nothing "kind" about letting people who love you and care for you "get away." This would only leave you alone and isolated so that, among much else, you can drink the way you want to drink with a false sense of impunity. All this while your loved ones struggle with their own relentless heartache, their own sense of loss, each and every day. I don't see anything at all even approaching redemption in your "plan."
And near or at the end of the line of your alcoholism, this is what it will be like for you: