i love these. thank you all for sharing. i have some to share, i have forgotten MOST of them over the years.
1. After we had a talk about how i need him to start pulling his weight and help with everything. and he agreed, apologized and promised to help out more
Me: "i think the oil in the truck needs to be changed, would you please change it today"
Him: "no, i wont do it"
Me: "what do you mean no?" (thinking he already had something planned even thou he was unemployed at the time, and was already thinking of another "good" time for him)
Him: "why should i change your oil. i dont drive that truck."
Me: "seriously? WoW" (he did not drive that truck, but his wife did and most of the time i had his children with me)
2. before filing for divorce. he was already living with his hood rat but i did not know about her yet. so i called him so we could talk.
me: how are you doing
him: fine, just a little tired
me: why are you so tired, did you stay up drinking?
him: no i didnt, my cousins kids never go to bed. they stay up all night, yelling and scream. i cant get any sleep.
a few minutes later
me: well hopefully you can sleep and the kids wont bother you
him: what kids? i was working on my truck all night, i told you already, you never listen.
3. after the divorce was filed and i was telling him not to claim the kids on income tax. he tells me that he already filed and claimed the kids and that he was just waiting for the check to come in. he usually claimed the 2 youngest kids on his tax returns but he was hardly home in 2013 and was not giving me any money for bills, food, or kids needs. come to find out a month later he got an estimate.
him: i am about to lose my truck. the repo man has already went to my work.
me: well cant you pay it off when your income tax comes in
him: i havent even filed yet. i told you i needed my w2 forms. and since they are going to your address and you wont give them to me.
me: why wont i give them to you? what makes you think that i wouldnt give them to you? what have i ever done or said to give you that impression?
him: crickets (i am sure this came from his hood rat)
4. after his w2 came in, i made sure that i filed my income tax and claimed the 2 boys before he could, right after the last conversation. i gave him his w2 with a note that i already file and claimed the boys.
him: Thank you.
me: thank you for what
him: for f8cking me over.
me: ok. how did i f*ck you over.
him: you claimed the boys. now i am not going to get anything back. (he gets 3000 back without boys, 6000 with boys) you really messed me over
me: i dont see how i messed you over. you didnt pay a dime to help support the boys last year. i dont see why you should claim them. i paid for everything.
him: i was going to give you half!! i told you that. you know i was going to give you half. (umm no you didnt and he NEVER gave me half of his income tax return in like 4 years, i never knew what he spent 6000 dollars on either. and i HATE that 'was going to") i am sure his hood rat was pissed.
same conversation
me: i paid for all the bills, school clothes and everything. you were not giving me money. you know my paycheck does not cover the monthly bills.
him: maybe you should work harder or get a second job
me: you made more then i did and i should get a second job?
him: i dont believe you
me: you dont believe me? what?
him: i dont believe you that i made more then you. (he was working 50-55 hours a week. he was telling me all of 2013 that he only made 200 a week. come to find out he was getting 500-600 a WEEK)
me: why would i lie about how much i made last year. i could show the w2 if you want. but you made 30K and i made 22k. plus i am getting garnished for not paying my school loan because i was busy paying everything else.
him: laughing, well maybe you need to get another job. you are so perfect arent you. you got your college degree and i made more money then you. you really are dumb huh? so much for you college degree
me: what the ****
(again, i am sure most of that came from his hood rat. i never threw my college degree in his face. the years that i made more then him, i never threw it in his face. i was always trying to get him to educate himself on things so he could get a better paying job.. but now it is MY fault that he made more then me?