Turns out letting him shower & see the baby was a poor choice. He came over the day before yesterday to take a shower & spend time with the baby. Around 4pm he said he was going to run to the store, then go to a friend's to borrow tools to finally fix his car. He took MY car keys without telling/asking me, took the dog "to go for a car ride" & didn't return until 9:30 yesterday morning.
This time, I called in reinforcements (friends) who sat with me until he made his reappearance. Of course AH then launched into his typical list of excuses...his phone died or was broken so he couldn't call...he came back with my car & 'traded vehicles' & I just didn't notice that he had his & not mine...he slept in the car bc I had kicked him out earlier that week & he thought I didn't want him in the apartment & he didn't come upstairs to tell me ANY of this because "he didn't want to wake me up".
Little did he know that I had found phone numbers for the friends whose tools he was supposedly borrowing, and called his dad to see if he had gone up there. He had not gone ANYWHERE he said he was, the entire night.
Big surprise, right?
The entire thing ended in my throwing his crap out on the lawn while he stood there insisting he wasn't doing "anything wrong", & watching out the window as he drove away.
I have no idea where he is, or what he's doing. I fI call his phone, it goes straight to voice mail. He left the car part he purchased earlier last week (that is supposedly desperately needed to keep his car driveable), so I put that out on the porch. It's still there.
I know this is the only way. I know it's the right thing to do & the best thing for myself & my baby boy. We can't live like this, with a daddy who disappears overnight for no reason & won't be a real husband or father.
But right now I am tired, depressed, lonely & sad. My little guy shouldn't have had to go through any of this, but he also needs & deserves a daddy.
Anyway. AH still has tons of stuff here & will eventually need to come get it. I'm debating filing a DVPO. I know that if I do, the odds that he'll be allowed to be a part of our son's life outside of a few crappy supervised visits a week are slim. I don't know why I feel like he doesn't deserve to have his child ripped away from him. Maybe Im just weak...