Time for an update for all of those who are still following (doubt it is many of you as I have relapsed so many times but oh well)
THIS IS SO LONG BUT WORTH IT.
So I will keep this a bit shorter as the whole story since friday could probably be a film. So first I didnt get that money I need urgently which then sent me spiraling out of control Friday and boy do I mean out of control drinking more then I thought was possible, sniffing huge amounts of cocaine, buying and arguing with eastern European dealers who everyone knows to avoid and a new one for me taking large amounts of pain killers.
Anyway I was sitting there at 5am Saturday morning when someone turned up with more coke and I just thought **** this really what am I doing. I left the house went home and slept woke up and has numerous calls about this party Saturday but decided to give it a miss. I then woke up Sunday and thought this is the new start I drunk the last three bulmers in my fridge and said this is a new day starting tomorrow (finished at 1am not drunk but counting tomorrow as sobriety date).
Today I sorted my **** out
1)I consolidated all my debts and money needed with a different loan company after spending the sober weekend researching and now am in a happy better off financially place. This was I know what has been ******* me in the ******** and making me surge this should be my end game.
2) I booked in so much overtime at work that it's nearly impossible for me to go out drinking and the rest of the time I am booked in for training at the gym so should stop my boozing except sundays which are always a lazy non drinking day for me.
3) I have set myself a plan and goals booking a trip back to Thailand where I can fight (amateur thai boxing) giving me a huge incentive to lay off the booze and get back into the shape I was when there two years ago fighting, and using up all my money that would be spent on booze and coke.
4) I will come on here everyday if I have the people to talk to who will hopefully give me one more chance.
I am feeling good, I am classing tomorrow as my sobriety date as want to do this properly. I am young so not going to say never drink ever again as that ****** me before(and please don't lecture me about it because for me saying you can never do something ever again just gets to me and depresses me thinking I could never have a drink at a wedding, a stag do when I get married all the other things ) I can tell you one thing it will be a long long long long time before doing it again and cocaine is off my list forever.