Tenant -
Giving up the fifth day means giving up your way of releasing emotionally. The fact that it is a spaced interval indicates to me that it isn't a physical addiction. In some ways that is easier, but in many ways more difficult, as the need to "check out" is so powerful that it "makes" you drink on the fifth day, even though your body doesn't need or even want it...
I was also not physically addicted to alcohol, but found that when I committed to total abstinence I had to address issues of deep loneliness & a lack of joy in my life. I was doing all the right things in every moment that I didn't drink (fitness, challenging profession, community involvement), but could only "relax and be myself" by drinking...
As to a support system for the rape & with quitting drinking - I am also trained as a counselor, and so receiving support was just about impossible for me. The only role I was comfortable in was problem solver. I've had therapists say the same thing, that I am basically paying them to be audience/witness as I share my issues, then tackle them, then "solve them." I could do that in the comfort of my own home, right? Except that I have limited perceptions, and so will never move beyond the edge of my "already known" if I'm the only person allowed to weigh in on my issues.
Becoming an advocate after an experience like rape allows great healing - through telling your story & wearing the horrific experience with your own power & bravery you work through lots of the victimization. BUT, the missing element is the ability to be soft & hurt & anguished & then to be comforted through that by another human being. When you are a public advocate you have to hold that mask of bravery over your true face, because people are counting on you to be strong for them...
So consider that this whole bit with the five day alcohol cycle might be tied in with your need to take a break from the intensity of your expectations of yourself & you may need to approach both bits simultaneously - opening your heart, trusting that others have something to give you, and releasing a crutch that is holding you aloof from that experience.
I couldn't resolve any of my core issues until I quit drinking entirely. Like you, I had a well developed life without alcohol, but still felt that it was necessary to me... I am learning to open & allow others to know me & support me, & I know that I would not have taken these risks until I got entirely sober.
You came to the right place! This community means so much to me.