Is it enabling if?
So, even though AH is no longer living with us (myself & baby), I've been allowing him to come over & take showers & at least eat dinner before he leaves again for the night. I feel that this is the very least I can do to keep being a compassionate person-I don't want all the hardship of dealing with his addiction & behavior to turn me into some kind of heartless douchecanoe. He misses the baby & regardless of his actions I don't believe that tearing his son away from him is going to solve anything.
Is this just enabling him? Is it reasonable to set the boundary that he may visit us, but he cannot LIVE there? I've gotten flack on both sides-the side that says I'm a heartless bitch for kicking him out, & the side that says that even so much as talking to him or letting him see the baby is caving in.
Maybe I'm just not tough enough to bar the gates completely, I don't know...I do know that the baby loves him, that he loves & is good to the baby, & that I am very lonely & feel like a terrible person, first for marrying him in the first place, knowing all his issues, & now for kicking him out...