Well it's half eleven at night now and I've chilled out with crap telly and a good dinner. Really glad I didn't drink but feel shell shocked by how hard and fast that desire to drink came from. It wasn't a case of pining for a beer or two to drink "socially" like "normal" people either - it was a compulsion to get as wasted as possible as quickly as possible.
Frightening it was, as it came from nowhere and I thought I'd really made progress recently. I've been making sure I eat a healthy diet and am starting to exercise too. Been looking into mindfulness stuff and trying to work on myself in all areas.
Posting here has helped again but it's been another eye-opener that I can't let down my guard for a second!
Thanks again folks - I'm so glad I won't be waking up with the terrors in the morning..........