SOOOOO
I am still feeling ****** BUT and this is a big BUT things may work out. I sat down and wrote down everything I felt come to my head and made a list of priorities. I worked out why I lapsed previously and have realized it is my money concern, I have a large payment due in a month which if I don't make my life will be unthinkable and have just kept drinking to forget it.
I have requested a loan online to consolidate my existing debt and this debt, I am hoping it will be approved as is about 20% of my annual salary over two years and this will solve a huge issue. I didn't realize before when I was at 12 days and everything was going smoothly this was the trigger that worried me.
I have made my list and am waiting for a reply tomorrow as it's given an intial APR but needs to go to underwriters. If you guys see me on here tomorrow it has been approved and we will take this step at a time, if not I am hoping to stay strong and stop burying my head in the sand or cocaine and alcohol and find another route.
Hope everyone is well.