Originally Posted by
hopeful4 
You absolutely have the right to not be ready for this. Time to keep up with YOUR needs.
XXX
Following up on what hopeful said here. No is a complete sentence. You are doing what feels right for you and if you aren't ready, you aren't ready. No need to force a square peg into a round hole.
And, if you do want a friendship with him in the future that is healthier, I bet you'll trust your intuition and you'll know when it's right. I think you are very aware of the situation on both sides here and you sound determined to do the right thing. Hugs to you, I know it's hard....sending you lots of support today.