I want him to be ok, I want him to be happy, feel rested, at peace. PTSD and alcoholism are cruel. They ravage you and everything around you. I love him, I want him to be good again. But the toll it has taken on me is astronomical. I have got to take care of me, I am a mom, I have to be ok. I do not have a choice, and right now just thinking about seeing him makes me hurt. But I do hope someday we can mend our friendship. Because I am 45 and I have known him since I was 6. I KNOW somewhere in him, there is a good guy.