Thank you LexieCat, CodeJob, maia1234, Duckygirl1, honeypig and IloveRRR !!
I've ordered The Language of Letting Go from Amazon and read today's post (Thank you honeypig). The clarity is coming, but still feel worried I might lose her, but that is only human. If I wasn't worried, I wouldn't care. Just have to find that balance. To all of you (((((((((hugs)))))))))