Not so lost anymore. After much reflection, I'm recognising co-dependency behaviors in myself that may be innate and heightened by the alcoholic, so I have some work to do there. The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie should help there (any thoughts?). regarding my two week holiday, I need some rest and relaxation from the past few months and from work itself. So I've told work I'll be effectively on call if needed (just won a big contract) otherwise I'll be going out and about visiting places, doing my own thing. If she wants to join me occasionally, great. If she needs to work on her 12 steps and all that that invloves, that's great too. I need to work on my Al-Anon 12 steps too. I need a break and burning myself out at work isn't going to help me.