Here are some more of AH's gems explaining why he's been out, unreachable on his cell phone & doesn't come back at night, in order:
Night 1: Well, I went to an AA meeting. Then I saw this pastor that I know. So I had a Hot Pocket & stayed there talking to him.
Night 2: So-and-so that I know from AA needs help moving furniture into a van so I'm going to his house...Well, so we moved all the furniture but then So-and-so backed the van into his house (HAAAAAAHAHAH WHAT.) & I had to stay there & help him repair it.
Night 3: I lost my phone at So-and-So's while repairing his house so now I have to go to AA to meet up with him & then go to his house to find my phone...I found my phone finally but I had to look for it all night & then I found it UNDER SO AND SO'S HOUSE BY A WATER MAIN.
Night 4: I went to go get a phone card (for the lost & found phone) & then I fell asleep in the car in our driveway listening to NPR.
Night 5: My car needs a part so I went to this guy's house that has a car just like mine that he parted out but it was clear out XYZ road (30 mins from home) & then I almost hit a moose on the way home & I went in the ditch but I had no reception so I had to walk up & down the road looking for a signal until someone came along to pull me out.
I just can't even, you guys.