Guys, HAHAHAHAHA!
I'm really sorry. I shouldn't be actually laughing at this but...
Here's a short background-my AH went cold turkey off his Suboxone without telling me WEEKS ago (almost a month), & quit drinking around the same time...he's been disappearing at random overnight for almost the same amount of time, claiming that he's "going to AA meetings" that last..until...4am? There have been tons of hilarious excuses on his part but the one below takes the cake.
On Monday, I stupidly let him use my car to "go get a phone card". He didn't reappear until 5am Tuesday. On Tuesday, he was home alone with no vehicle & couldn't go anywhere. Then, Wednesday morning, he "woke up sick" and "was puking all night long".
Husband claims that his "illness", after being out until 5am Tuesday, was because...
"he ate a can of salmon on Monday that he found in the back of my car & it gave him food poisoning..."
A CAN.
OF.
SALMON.
OUT OF THE TRUNK OF A CAR.
AHAHAHAHAA.