Dudes, seriously.
I'd have to say that even though I don't LIKE being angry, or being seen as an "angry" person, it really sort of forced me recently to stand up and go...
I'M MAD AS HELL & I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE!
In order to do that, you CAN'T take it personally. You have to realise that the alcoholic or addict in question has likely been treating people this way his/her entire life.
While that's equal parts frustrating & sad, it's also a truth that will set you free, because once you recognize that all the things we tell ourselves about why OUR relationship with this person is "different" just aren't accuract, it's much easier to distance ourselves.
I'm personally guilty of,
1. Well, so-and-so just wasn't the love of his life.
2. So-and-so did XYZ to enable or cause his behavior.
3. It's just going to take someone being willing to 'tough it out'.
4. He had a bad childhood/home life/upbringing/previous relationship.
5. He did *insert tiny, negligible positive thing here* so that proves he's "making progress".
6. There is XYZ person still in his life tempting him.
NONE of the above are valid reasons to treat someone the way most of us here feel we've been treated.
Refusing to take it personally anymore comes a lot easier when you sit back & think about your addict's relationships with others (what you know of them) & how much if not all of your problems with your addict are exactly the same as others' problems.
And that makes it a lot easier, because suddenly you are no longer alone. You are no longer the only one shelling out banknotes into this completely overdrawn emotional bank account, aka, your addict.
I've found that even though to some it may seem tacky & like betrayal, putting myself out there to a specific FEW people who have been there for the whole roller coaster with my husband has been very helpful.
These are longtime friends and/or his family members who can confirm that what I'm going through has validity & I have every right to be angry.
Maybe you can find some people like that for yourself?