I'm so sorry for your loss Epskie.
You start with a day one
If you don't think you can manage that easily, perhaps it's best to speak with a Dr, and maybe consider AA again if it helped last time?
Alcohol is a really poor coping mechanism for grief. It doesn't salve the pain, it just pushes it to one side and it comes back again...which means more drinks.
It's ok to be sad and feel the loss. By feeling that you get through it to the other side.
You're not alone epskie
D