She's not ready to quit. No one on the outside can say with certainty what will motivate an individual to seek recovery. For some one DUI does the trick, others don't even get that far. They see that alcohol is negatively effecting their life and relationships and that's it.
Others end up on the street, in jail or dead, but still never admit that alcohol is a problem for them.
That's why we on the other side, who love alcoholics and addicts, can't waste out lives waiting for them to see the light. Sorry your ex is making such poor choices, but for those of us who haven't lived it, the disease of addiction is incomprehensible.