HappyBeingMe, thank you for your response. AM has told sister repeatedly that she should be paid for what she does for her, but then kept on doing it anyway and played the martyr afterward instead of saying 'ok well figure it out on your own I can't be doing this for free' and moving on with her own life. AM used sister's need for help over the past few years as (one of many) excuses to not get gainful employment and now lives in poverty. Now that sister is making choices that don't rely on her, AM is lashing out because she is no longer needed.
She feels resentful of everyone and everything in life (completely isn't willing to live life on life's terms) and tries to get me to buy into her pity party. I'm so glad I am able to detach more and see it for what it is.