Resentment
Not mine, but my ex-girlfriend's.
I've had a couple conversations with her since getting back from rehab. Of course, given that it's only been 3 weeks since I returned and I'm still finding out just how badly I screwed up and how upside down my life has been turned, I'm a little preoccupied with my recovery process. I made the mistake of thinking she'd be interested and supportive. Instead, she said she's tired of talking about, that it sounds like my alcoholism has become my identity, and she's still pretty resentful.
Granted, I put her through a lot, so it isn't like I don't understand. I do. I guess I just feel pretty alone with this a lot of the time. It is my problem, after all, so what should I expect? There are moments at AA meetings I feel the most connected, and there are times when I get that here, but what I feel I need the most is that 3D connection.
Feeling a little frustrated this Friday night. I went to an AA meeting and it didn't go all that well. The older members spent the whole time complaining about people coming and going and no one staying (I think I know why!) and almost sounding like they were guilt-tripping people into staying, like it's owed. I dunno... just left me feeling out of sorts.