Originally Posted by happytobealive1

Not feeling well. Waves of panic and anxiety keep washing over my head. My stomach hurts and I honestly don't even know if it's because of anxiety, hormonal fluctuations, or having eaten too much. I'm inclined to think it's the first, because this has happened before family get-togethers at least once in the past. Tonight and tomorrow I will be with my entire family, all day, with many large meals planned---my family's Saturdays essentially revolve around food, which has always driven me crazy. With my stomach and anxiety the way they are, I can't even imagine eating.

I don't know how I'm going to make it through tonight and tomorrow. I just can't wait for break to be over so I can go back to my own secure little life. I want my stomach to stop hurting and I want this anxiety and panic to stop hurting and I want to feel ok and strong and calm and loving and good and excited about spending this time with my family---whom I love, at least I think I do, but honestly my feelings are so hard to read I don't even know. I want I want I want...and I can't find a way out of this cluster@#$%.