My head isn't great at the moment either so I don't want to give you bad advice,
But do keep trying, you will get there. I was scared to go to AA too, terrified, but I loved it immediately. You never have to go back if you don't like it, so why not try?
I hope you feel better for your long day
And by the way, post here all you want
you're not upsetting anyone I'm sure