Cecilia, that is a terrible lesson you learned growing up. You were a great scholar though: You learned the lesson, stuck with it, kept repeating it to yourself, used it as a guide through life. You were a good kid. But sometimes our teachers are just plain wrong, and we only seem to learn that when the damage is done.
The little girl, who so eagerly learned that no-one would care, is still with you, always has been. No wonder others don't see her: They see a strong, independent and hard working woman who does it all by herself! And you are all that as well. Only you feel the girl hiding behind yourself. You are the only adult the girl feels safe enough to hide behind. You know what she needs. You have her back. You always have, and always will. Don't let her hide behind you anymore, but take her by the hand, tell her you're sorry she grew up to feel so bad, show her she's safe now, show her you care.
She needs your love, your true love, so that she can learn to recognize it in others as well. You can talk to a professional to help you recognize when it's you or your little girl that needs some tlc.
All this always seemed so silly to me, foreign really. But I just met my little girl last week, after two months of sobriety, and told her I was sorry, I loved her, tucked her in safely, and put her to bed. That was all she really needed, for now. She'll wake up again, lonely, hungry, or having a bad dream, and then I'll be there for her again. I know what she needs, and I know I will never let her struggle by herself again, or give her away to others in hopes they would comfort her. I won't even let my dog stay with a dogsitter, so why did I not think twice about putting my own happiness in the hands of someone else?