Thanks Dee. Right now, I'm just taking it one day at a time. This is a weird phase for me as I've gotten sober for this long quite a few times. This is definitely the hardest I've worked at it though, and I'm happy for that. I think when I got sober last summer for a month, I kinda forgot to check in here or think much about how I'd stay sober after the shame/embarassment of the binge I'd had wore off (still the worst ever at 3 nights in a row of blackout and then a 4th night of getting very drunk).
This time I'm thinking a lot about it and last week, it didn't seem that hard to stay sober forever since the pain was still so raw. Now, 20 days in as of one minute ago, I still don't want to drink at all, but in the long term, I keep thinking about times when I want to drink. I'm doing whatever I can when those thought pop in to get rid of them, or think about that future event and then think how much better the day after will be if I'm not hungover