It does suck being the only one to take care of yourself. I want what you want. Someone to help and to hold my hand and make it all go away. My husband is pretty useless. When I signed on for marriage I thought it would be a partnership but it isn't. I'm toting the whole bale here. And I'm pretty darn tired of being the strong one. With stiff upper lip. The martyr, actually. I don't ask for help enough and don't do the things I need to take care of myself.
And I know my words are small comfort to you. Because I'm an anonymous stranger who knows where and these are just words on a screen but I think if you are a business owner and homeowner then you are a really pretty remarkable person.
Sometimes families just can't hear what we have to say. They can't give us what we want or need. They are just incapable of it. And sometimes they give but in ways that we don't need or understand or even recognize because it really is all they can give. Not everyone has great parents. My husband got shafted in that department. His are terrible. Mine are great but have very little understanding of alcoholism or addiction.
I hope posting here helped you a little. Reading what you wrote helped me think. You get to the point where you feel so brittle and stretched thin with worry and anger and despair that you very well may shatter into a million jagged pieces. But you keep on. Trudging forward. Keep reaching out. If this doesn't help you here, reach out in real life. Keep trying. Don't give up.