Well, he may not know when his drink-a-thons are in the offing. Sometimes he probably does, but other times somebody just has an idea about going out. As my first husband used to say, "It was New Year's Eve and it seemed like a good idea at the time." And anyway, considerate warnings are not something that alcoholics think about. So I don't know that there's really an answer to that as long as you're living with him. It's just one of those unavoidable consequences. Disappointment is par for the course, I'm afraid. I don't think your "reminders" probably help. Has he ever told you, "Yeah, I'm going out and getting sh*tfaced so don't hold dinner for me"?