torque, when he's in between binges, do you try to "arrange" things so he won't drink? Are you on your best behavior, attentive to his needs and wants so he won't drink? Try to keep him on a schedule of activities (or away from certain activities/friends) so he won't drink?
Letting go of those as much as possible is what detachment would look like in that situation, I think. You certainly don't have to keep him at arm's length, or avoid arguments or discussions--assuming that he's reasonable during those intervals.