Originally Posted by
lizatola 
I started putting the focus on my son and making a consistent life for him. I took people up on invites to go to the movies, out for a cup of coffee, or out for a hike. I get a pedicure every so often and sometimes I treat myself to a new blouse or other indulgence. I make a concerted effort to improve my relationship with my Higher Power (whom I choose to call God).
^^This. I had to just DO it. I had to force myself outside of my comfort zone (aka hiding away at home) & go. do. things. For DD, for me, for both of us.
I forced myself to commit to activities & then forced myself to STAY PUT once I was there instead of rushing home. I had to stop myself from looking for reasons to back out of things once I had them planned too, I was really surprised at my own behavior. Eventually I also stopped spending that entire time wondering what AH was doing/where he was/who he was with & finally started focusing on & enjoying the things I was doing.
(But like the previous posters, I don't think you can ever stop yourself from being bothered by his actions, you can simply stop yourself from reacting poorly or in a way that wastes or exhausts your energy.)