I didn't "get it" for the longest time..... I read about it here a lot but mostly in relation to dealing with ACTIVE addiction so I didn't pay close attention to it.
Then one day I found/observed myself detaching from RAH's obnoxious early recovery behaviors & had that AHA moment when I "Got It" for real, in a real living example, in my own life. I realized I had been misunderstanding the concept all around - why it was useful & how to really DO it. (& surprisingly, that sometimes I had been doing it properly out of self-preservation without realizing it.)
It's such a passive action & for me relies a lot on finding MY inner peace point in order to not get caught up in other more active emotions (like anger) so that I can take a big step back & drop the rope. It's like a self check: Does this issue really belong to ME? Am I impacted by this situation & can I limit my exposure? Do I really see that I can't control this/this person's decisions?