Attending meetings, being sober and gaining awareness are great places to start. Congratulations to you each on the progress you're making.
Do either of you have sponsors & are you working the steps? I've just started on the book "Paths to Recovery, Alanon's Steps, Traditions, and Concepts", which was recommended by my sponsor. At the end of each chapter are questions I'll answer and go over with my sponsor.
Good luck and good wishes to you and your wife.
You may want to educate yourself about Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS). Here are a few links on it:
P.A.W.S. | What?Me Sober? http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...nths-paws.html Post-Acute Withdrawal Symptoms - Relapse Prevention Strategies http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...periences.html