Oh I know how that feels bonbon.
I never did go out again, lol.
You set the boundaries and be friends first. You don't have to get closer then you want too. If he crowds you tell him to take a hike. Listen to his first conversations. They always give themselves away. If he says something negative about himself. BELIEVE IT. Believe the positive things too.
You are not talking about mariage here. It's just a date.
Hugs,
MG