Hi Rosie!
I see now why you haven't wanted to call your ex-husband! That should be the last time you call him now! As bad as he seems to be? He is paying for the insurance! Let sleeping dogs lie! Leave him to his beers! I'm sure with the alcohol flowing thru his veins he's super angry and uses the insurance as a threatening way with you.
Your son has actually screamed to you in silence he doesn't want to be an addict! He's bored, doesn't have a job or GF and is using the drugs as a way around that! I used opiates for years in my life as my "lover"! I know how they make a person feel! He has great potentials in front of himself! He's a smart guy! Maybe try to get him involved with volunteering at some animal place? Animals always bring out the best in ppl! Look how many jails are allowing prisoners to train animals for adoption! It's making them into better ppl too! Staying at home 24/7 isn't working for him! There's got to be a change of some kind/some where!
Try sitting down with him and ask him what his plans are? Put the subject of the drug use on a shelf for now. Just concentrate on his desires! See if this brings out something that's been missed along the way while all the drug talk has been going on!
TOD