((((Woodman)))) So good to hear from you again but sorry you are struggling :'-( Is there another therapist you could go to that understands both the addiction aspects as well as specializing in grief counseling? You already have so many tools under your belt and maybe it's just all part of the grieving. She would have continued to drink even if she did come back home (and you know that)... but she would be taking you and the children right down with her emotionally. Hopefully this is just all part of the grieving process for you and the stage will get better for you, not worse. There is truly nothing you could have done and you saved you and your kids from being taken down further. That shows what a good Father you are, even though it was so painful (and IS so painful).