Thanks for thinking of me Hopeful! yes, I've done grief counseling, and independent counselor sessions as well. I'm actually OK for the most part- I am embracing fun things (and people) in my life, and the kids seem to be doing well. Though i am always on the lookout for 'signs' of concern...
I have come to acceptance that she had a 'bottomless' disease (you're right about that) and was probably destined to lose this battle because of that, regardless of what I did/didn't do. I guess the part that gets me the most, when I stop and think about it, is how sad she was in not being around me and the kids, and ultimately died alone. I have a really hard time with those emotions.