I can only laugh at this b/c my almost XAH and I sold our home and have been separated for 5 months. Divorce is in the works. The last 4 years has not been laughable at all as he went from 12 years sober, to dry drunk, to drunk. And blamed me for his "demise." He's been on and off with sobriety since Sept 2012, including a stay in rehab in Nov 2013. But, I can laugh at the text below.
The set up: A few weeks ago, he decided after 5 months of sobriety that he was going to relapse; he blamed the "unpredictableness" of our relationship. (What's unpredictable about being separated...rhetorical...and yes, he kicked it cold turkey again after I gave him the papers to sign to sell the house) I got sucked in through text and felt bad that he threw away another five months. So here's how the texts went once I realized he was drunk. I was hoping to support him as a "friend" knowing he was struggling. I was hoping to help him. (This is cut and pasted)
Me: What are you doing.
Him:Texting you
Me: no I mean like right now. Aside from texting. Are you sitting on the floor?
Him: No, I'm standing in front of my dresser freezing my ass off.
Me: Look in the mirror.
Him: Ok
Me: What do you see? Don’t say “my sorry cold ass.”
Him: He's ********
Me: Why is he ********?
Him: Bc he knew what he was and he disregarded that for the wrong reasons. (What he means here is that, in his mind, he married me knowing that I could "ruin his life" by not being what he needed me to be, but hoped I'd be able to "save him"...)
Me: And he deserves to be beat up by those demons? For how long?
Him: Until his dumb ass stops wriggling
It makes me laugh when I read it...not sure why. it's more sad than funny. There's a lot more to the text and it's just funnier as it goes. I think it's because it's a glimpse into what we used to have...before our marriage suffered and he relapsed, and then it suffered so so so much more. He's really, really funny and great to talk to. He's hyper aware of who he is. Sometimes it's the very thing that makes him drink, and also the very thing that will make him attempt sobriety again.
It's just really sad what addiction does to people. To my husband, to us, to our blended family. It's all gone. I had no choice. And it's one of the saddest things I've ever gone through in my life.