I'm here...I was working this morning.
As for where I was yesterday?
It might have come across too flippantly, but I really meant it about having a nervous breakdown. The doctor wanted to hospitalise me, which is not an option. And the thing about me (I have always been like this) is that when a medical professional tells me things are serious, and I can't fix this on my own, I decide that I can. I find extra strength.
In all honesty, yesterday was one of the scariest days I have ever known in my life. I was just not 'here'. The level of sadness and desperation I felt were so big... I have a lot of faith, and I prayed. I went to bed early, and got up today and worked.
I appreciate the suggestions re job stuff, I really do. But the deal is this: I receive a government job search allowance, and I work part-time. I lose quite a lot of my govt allowance from just this one PT job. I cannot take on anything else part-time; I will be going backwards financially. So I NEED a full-time job, and I need it soon.
But desperation and a mental breakdown are not the best things when you are looking for work. So I made it worse...you could argue that this isn't my fault, but I think it is.
So I have to spend much more of my energy on job search now. I just have to.
And in order to do that, I have to be well, and be a great deal calmer.
So that's what I am working on today.
I love you all. ♥