So, it's been almost a month and I am struggling. I completely cut off contact due to the manipulation that he was throwing at me. I cut off the contract on Feb. 20 and I feel like I am going through withdrawal. Since he is still on a lot of my financial and phone bill I am checking those constantly (he has entered "recovery" and is calling people whose numbers I know, men specifically) and he has not contacted me except to say that he was going to our old home group, which is my current home group. I skipped out on that meeting and my friends that barely would recognize him said that they did not see him there. Now I don't know what to do. Did he not go because I did not reply to his emails? Is he going to show up? I don't want to not go just because of him and let this fear rule my life. But I don't want to get sucked back in either if I see him there and my old ways of thinking take over and I think he's doing fine, changing, blah blah. But I love this home group so much. I just wish I had some kind of confirmation that he was doing bad, hadn't changed, etc. That I had made the right decision. But when I talk to mutual recovery friends it's like they've been put under his spell too and are like he's really trying and calling and doing good. But then I saw a bar charge on a card. But it was just one. So IDK. I really want to call him, but I've changed my number and really, really don't want him to have my number or the satisfaction that I can't not talk to him so I am not calling. I don't want to get sucked back in again. But this is like the worst drug withdrawal I've ever been through. And I was addicted to everything at one point or another. I've been praying for the obsession to cease but it keeps coming back. I just want to know and it kills me that I can't. Any advice?
