Glad to see you checking back. So many post and never return.
Originally Posted by
Lear 
I don't miss it at all when everything is fine but as soon as things get a bit difficult and think about it again. I won't take anything, so it's not really a problem but sometimes it's a lot more difficult.
The hallmark of addiction and of how addicts cope with difficulty. We escape to our drug of choice (DOC). Part of recovery--as opposed to merely abstinence from our DOC--is learning how to cope with difficulty. Some of us can read a couple of self-help books, listen to a life-improvement CD, others need one-on-one help from a professional, yet still others need the 12-steps to completely revamp our lives.
You are in school. You might see what kind of counseling help is available.