Ah, motherhood. A dual role, first to keep the entirely dependent child alive, then to teach the child to keep itself alive (simply put). It has always been about investing hugely and then letting go. It is deep within us. Our resistance to the reality of children growing up and independent is nothing new. Doesn't make it easier! You can live YOUR life again, not as mom or grandmother, but as seek. Be patient with yourself, and when it gets too heavy, give it to God.