You are absolutely right. You cant do this alone and you are in a safe place. That is what we are here for. I have felt the same exact way. My wife has been in denial off and on for several months. She gets help when she isnt in denial and when she is in denial she avoids, projects and rationalizes it all. It does hurt. The lies, denial and blame all hurt to the bone. I have recently begun working on learning how to detach. Separate the problem from the person. It helps to realize that it is the disease that is making her act this way. The disease makes her act totally differently. Work your program and get to meetings. That is what has helped me. I learn something new at every meeting.
Keep coming back
Jeff