Lovenjoy: Thank you. Can you say more about that line you bolded? How does that work, in your experience?
I like the full Serenity Prayer - I can do without the gender language, re: HP, but I can overlook it and concentrate on the message.
INgal: Yes, it is really difficult. My stomach has been acting up all day. I am not good with "not knowing" (more than most, probably . . . I seem to be an amateur detective. I notice details and nuances that other people don't notice - and in this case, that is not good).
I am also empathic, which is a curse around this issue.
But I am doing okay.
Trying not to "trip" too much.
The truth is that I have NO IDEA what is going on - in the small and big picture. Nothing makes any sense to me on this Earth. I just have to accept that I have not a clue what is going on. It's hard to live your life when you don't have a framework for it (i.e., no functional family, nothing to rely on or fall back on for emotional support, no family traditions now - since we have been dealing with this). It's just hard.
Alanon is good but it can only do so much. It's not a family (although some people perceive it as such).
I do feel more spiritually connected - but I have no idea what my purpose is on the Earth at the moment. I raised kids and helped raise the grandkid - never dreamed I would be dealing with such a thing as this at this point in my life (or ever). I don't know how people accept it - I guess the same way they accept other unacceptable stuff.
I guess the theme of my life is now "coping." I seem to need some structure so that's why I am floundering and trying to find some framework.