Thank you for responding, BellaBlue. I don't know how parents and grandparents cope with this stuff, long term. It's hard to have a framework for life (or it is for me).
My entire family has imploded so there is no support.
I do go to Alanon and that helps - but the trauma of this is just incredible.
There is no way any alcoholic or addict could ever conceive of the heartache and grief that family members go through. Not sure why that is important, because I know they don't hurt people on purpose - we're just "collateral damage."
The estrangement must be difficult . . .
I don't know what to make of any of this.
I do believe it all has forced me to become more in touch with my spirituality, but from a meta experience, I have many questions (which I might post in the Spiritual section someday).
None of it makes any sense to me.