seek

I am the grandparent of a young (22) alcoholic who has been to a couple of rehabs, detox, SLE's and might (?) currently be living with another alcoholic (perhaps in recovery, not sure).

He relapsed a couple of week's ago, and just before that, our interaction had been quite negative (I would say due to "restless, irritable, and discontent," as they say in AA . . . ), but subsequently, he has reached out to me and has been very friendly and says "all is well." I am not sure of his sobriety status, so these conversations leave me questioning. Of course I WANT to believe he is doing well, but keep getting my hopes up and then, boom.

I am very intuitive and sometimes get stomach pains when something is wrong in my family and I have had those recently and have them today.

He is a great "kid," with a serious problem. I walk a tightrope between hope and denial and despair . . . I am trying to have faith and take care of myself.

My question is about Facebook. I can tell when someone has been online and I deduce all kinds of things from this (which may or may not be true - mostly having to do with not keeping regular hours, which is a pattern I have noticed). I know it is not healthy for me to do this, AND I am not sure how to avoid it since I log onto Facebook every day and I can readily access this information.

I am also curious how other parents/grandparents deal with "not knowing" if the person you love who is alcoholic is okay or not okay. I find this very disturbing, and I have to figure it out for myself because I am old and he is young and this could go on for a long time.

I realize this is my problem and I need to figure out how to cope without going into denial.